it is with a heavy heart and bitter-sweet emotions i have to announce that, as from 7am saturday 2nd april i will no longer be employed at what i have always refered to as “the paid job”.
i’ve never NOT said i work for tesco, just never made a big deal of it. i am not ashamed of working for them. i won’t deny that some of the decisions of the company are at odds with my politics, but i much prefer to keep work and home/social/political life totally exclusive. now i am nothing near daft enough to think that such issues that cause upset are decided at store level. so as such, morally i have no issue working for them. that and the fact that i have for nigh on TWENTY EIGHT YEARS, since i was a nipper.
anyway, back to the point.
as you may have seen recently in the news, around 75 or so stores are to cease 24 hour trading. unfortunately ours is on that list. as such, my job role is no more. i have been offered other position in our store and at other stores, but sadly no full time positions are available at this time. (like most retailers these days it seems full time jobs don’t exist).
another option was redundancy.
now with 28 years behind me as well as my age you can imagine the package offered was very decent. for all the constant slagging off the company gets, in the main, they DO know how to treat staff. they looked after me fourteen years ago when i had my accident and was off for 12 months.
myself and The Enemy have spent the last few weeks talking it all through (talking about bugger all else to be fair) and we decided that redundancy was the way to go. and so it is. i have six weeks left. then for the first time since leaving school i will be jobless.
i have plans. i won’t become a man of leisure just yet. but i AM having a good few weeks off. going to spend the quality time with The Enemy and Boy that i have missed by being on nights for the last 10 years, and get used to daylight again. also crack on with the handful of poems i have started and stalled on. maybe even finally learn to play my melodica (and if allowed, buy a trombone and learn that)
so there you have it. it’s official now and i wanted you all to know. if i have seemed distant and not entirely fun in the last month, this may go some way to explaining it. i apologise to anyone who may feel i have been ignoring them, i swear i meant nothing personal by it. also apologise for the lack of radio shows. that too shall be addressed very soon.
anyone who needs a loyal, trustworthy, fun employee from may onwards, speak up. i’ll be available.
for now though, i’ll end by saying thank you to tesco for employing me for almost three decades, the many friends that i have made along the way and the decent customers who managed to NOT insult or threaten me.


now my bearded dragon, Stumpy, is six months old on sunday, and he is a lively bugger. for an animal known to spend the greater part of a day basking, he does some running about. Pogona Parkour!
and he eats Locust. loves them. nowt pleases him more than to put the tub in, take the lid off and let him chase them round his viv, chomping away. they’re about 1″-2″ long, colourful and quite cute


Stumpy and a hopper.

the boy’s, Spike, is 11 weeks older, considerably bigger (they grow at different rates) and also eats locust. only HIS are adult ones. about 2″-4″ long. big, brown, and with wings. and they crunch when he has them.


Spike’spawn of satan

Spike is a lazy sod. won’t run about. never has. but i thought, if he has summat to run after…..
so i put a full tub of 6 adult hoppers in his viv, took the lid off, quickly shut the door and watched. yeah…. watched.
i watched ALL SIX jump.straight into the bushes. Spike just sat there.
now as i said, Stumpy sized bugs i can scoop up with my hands no worries. but not Spike’s. lord no! so there i was, shifting bits of greenery like a fat David Bellamy, jumping like a schoolgirl when one hopped and screeching if one landed on me. trying to grab them one at a time and dangle them in front of the lazy git.
i finally managed it, put all the viv decorations back and sat back relieved.
i’m sorry Stumpy, but you’re sticking with the smaller ones. at least you like to chase em.


reading about “call me dave” and his trip up to yorkshire, i’ve written another little poem.



they were up to their waists in water and sludge, by god they were having it rough.
he came in his wellies, the much cheaper ones, so that he didn’t seem as much of a toff.
the last thing they needed was his gurning mug, looking concerned for the massed rank of cameras.,
looking concerned, shocked and amazed. like they all seem to do (lying wankers)
showing his *cough* humanitarian side, with the minister for floods in Barbados
cos, you know, it is christmas, he’s earnt that nice break, and quite frankly, he don’t give a toss.
old dave went to york, it was up to his ankles. any further he’d have needed some waders.
then he buggered off home, back down to the smoke, one of life’s greatest ever evaders.
the people up here, they’re made of strong stuff, they’ll face it, get through it together.
and probably say, with a grin on their faces, “tha what, dunt be soft lad, it’s just weather”.
but joking aside, let’s hope they’re ok, and the water it drains, moves elsewhere.
and fuck the politicians and their front page snap ops, we’ve proved again, it’s the people that care.

stay safe folks.


it’s 5am christmas day morning and i have woken with some of these lines running about in my head.
i can’t seem to settle.
so instead of going back to sleep and forgetting about them, i’ve got up, worked out some more, altered a couple and put them down here.


To the 100,000 kids out there, having to sleep rough.
To all the steelworkers who’s furnaces are off.
To the miners no longer underground digging out our coal.
To anyone who finds themselves jobless and on the dole.
To all those poor poor folks who’s homes were flooded just recentley.
To those souls on this day of days with little or less to eat.
To anyone who is struggling with mental or physical health.
and to the 99 percenters who don’t own all the wealth.
you’ll do your best to make this christmas day pass as you always do.
and from the rest of us,
the fortunate ones,
our thoughts they are with you.

merry christmas people.

from Barnsley Sime and family.