“THE TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX derives it’s picture of the universe on the principle of the extrapolated matter analyses.
to explain: since every piece of matter in the universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation – every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history – from, say, one small piece of fairy cake.
the man who invented the total perspective vortex did so basically to annoy his wife.
trin tragula – for that was his name – was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
and she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing stereographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake.
“have some sense of proportion!” she would say, sometimes as often as thirty eight times in a single day.
and so he built the total perspective vortex – just to show her.
and into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.
to trintragula’s horror the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.”

d.adams – the restaurant at the end of the galaxy



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