HELLO? IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE? JUST NOD IF YOU CAN HERE ME.

hello it’s me, how can i help?
whine & groan & moan & chelp.
“there’s summat up, it’s all your fault, sort it out or face a revolt.
i’ve been with you for years and years”
sad sob story, sniffles and tears.
“gimmee summat new, best that you’ve got, all bells and whistles, i want the lot!”
“but not reyt pricey, good deal, you know? paying just the same as five years ago.”
“and i want loads of freebies, chuck em all on, and if tha can’t, that’s it i’m gone!”
“tha wants HOW MUCH? tha’s gorra be mad!”
“i’m off to your rival, telling thee lad”
“they’re one pound cheaper, hundred up front” (he’s not done the maths, the tight fisted….. pillock)
“so cancel me now, or i’ll start to yelp”

new call,
hello it’s me,
how can i help?

11/04/17.

JUST WHEN THEY THOUGHT IT COULDN’T GET WORSE

reading about “call me dave” and his trip up to yorkshire, i’ve written another little poem.

camwellies

 

they were up to their waists in water and sludge, by god they were having it rough.
he came in his wellies, the much cheaper ones, so that he didn’t seem as much of a toff.
the last thing they needed was his gurning mug, looking concerned for the massed rank of cameras.,
looking concerned, shocked and amazed. like they all seem to do (lying wankers)
showing his *cough* humanitarian side, with the minister for floods in Barbados
cos, you know, it is christmas, he’s earnt that nice break, and quite frankly, he don’t give a toss.
old dave went to york, it was up to his ankles. any further he’d have needed some waders.
then he buggered off home, back down to the smoke, one of life’s greatest ever evaders.
the people up here, they’re made of strong stuff, they’ll face it, get through it together.
and probably say, with a grin on their faces, “tha what, dunt be soft lad, it’s just weather”.
but joking aside, let’s hope they’re ok, and the water it drains, moves elsewhere.
and fuck the politicians and their front page snap ops, we’ve proved again, it’s the people that care.

stay safe folks.

AND SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS

it’s 5am christmas day morning and i have woken with some of these lines running about in my head.
i can’t seem to settle.
so instead of going back to sleep and forgetting about them, i’ve got up, worked out some more, altered a couple and put them down here.

————

To the 100,000 kids out there, having to sleep rough.
To all the steelworkers who’s furnaces are off.
To the miners no longer underground digging out our coal.
To anyone who finds themselves jobless and on the dole.
To all those poor poor folks who’s homes were flooded just recentley.
To those souls on this day of days with little or less to eat.
To anyone who is struggling with mental or physical health.
and to the 99 percenters who don’t own all the wealth.
you’ll do your best to make this christmas day pass as you always do.
and from the rest of us,
the fortunate ones,
our thoughts they are with you.

merry christmas people.

from Barnsley Sime and family.