OUT OF THE SINKING

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so, i have been. paid my £2 and i am a member of a gym. been shown around and it ain’t owt flash, but it’ll suit my needs. due to it’s opening hours i shall only be able to get there on a friday, but the hard work starts here.

got given my key fob that grants me entrance. that’s wat the two quid was for. went outside after, to wait for the parental unit picking me up and thought it best to put the fob on my keys.

searched my pockets, no fob. looked again, no fob. emptied ALL my pockets….. NOTHING!!! am i losing my mind? ain’t this a grand start? having to fork out anothet £2 before i even start.

hold on though. she gave it me, then took it off me to open the door, then never gave it back! back in, back up the stairs, collect it again, and back outside.

now THAT is today’s workout complete!

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FROM THE FLOORBOARDS UP

we’ve had the house twenty years. ever since we first saw the kitchen we knew what we wanted to do with it, we just never had the funds.

we got married, we had a kid, fatty got knocked off his scooter, The Enemy was made redundant 18 months into a new job etc etc…. so when redundancy came calling for me after 28 years there was no argument about what would be done.

new windows and doors were the first order of the day. the one we had were in need of replacement. the couple that lived here before us, the husband worked at a window firm and it looked like he had used their seconds to fill the holes in his walls. some didn’t open, some didn’t shut, none matched. so that was first. and very nice they turned out too.

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and so to the biggy. our kitchen. and what to do to utilise the size.has to be said, it has been the main gathering point in all our years here. so out came the chimney, out came all the units, up came the floor, new plaster, new kitchen, new paint, new EVERYTHING. i’ll let the photos do the talking.

before….

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midway through the new plaster going up, the new kitchen was delivered. so the front room and the hall were utilised. we were now living upstairs!

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but it was taking shape.

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the cooker had been delivered and fitted

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dishwasher, washing machine, counter tops and cupboards in place. WHERE’S THE SINK?” “going in tomorrow, use the taps upstairs”

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then the floor went down. and the decorator came in.

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and it was done. finally. apart from finishing touches like some art work, the clock, new sockets.

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or was it? “we need a new stairs and landing carpet. the one thats down was laid the day we fetched The Teen home from hospital. and if we are doing that we may as well paper the landing. and get some lino down in the bathroom. and tile the bathroom. and paint it. and paint the parlour. and use the leftover landing paper to finish the parlour. and so it was.

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but…. after all that, it’s all done. except our bedroom. and i am told THAT is happening at easter. oh dear.

#chuffedtobits

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FIND THE TORCH, BURN THE PLANS

“join the union, ALWAYS be in a union”. my Dad 28 years ago.

after leaving tesco i left USDAW. within days i had joined Unite. had to. i don’t feel safe not being in a union. i have become increasingly political in the last couple of years. always had that part of me, but more so of late.

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now this has led to me being pretty fortunate enough to get to help out at some rather special events, none more so that the We Shall Overcome and Festival Of Solidarity events in Barnsley.

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it is because of these and my dj slot at The Hurriers album launch that led Bob Oram of The Morning Star to name me his “DJ OF TheYear” last year, which in turn enabled me to blag myself onto the bill for Morning Star’s 50th Anniversary gig at londons famous 1oo Club. (time restraints meant i never actually got to play owt, but that’s the way it goes somnetimes with these things) on stage that night, amongst others, Joe Solo, Grace Petrie, Thee Faction and the aforementioned Hurriers.

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then came the leadership election. and Jezzas victory. sorry, SECOND victory. of course, we all knew it was a foregone conclusion, so a party was organised and yours truly was asked to partake. this i couldn’t resist! so the Socialist Stomp became a thing.

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organised by those wonderful folks at Momentum i was joined on the decks by

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Tony Peter Wright

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Ian “Megs” Horton

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not sure how Hicksy got himself in this shot….

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nowt better than like minded folks getting together and appreciating what you are spinning.

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hoping we may be able to have a few more of these….. watch this space.

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NO TEARS TO CRY

bought two scooters.

didn’t want two. wanted one. got one. a beautiful one. a Vespa. a 7oth Anniversary Special Edition Vespa PX 125. a thing of beauty. special one off paint. one off seat. painted rims. one off italian leather bag (itself worth £300). i was gonna get a normal one and have a friend panel wrap it. but it was The Enemy who said i would regret it if i didn’t, and for the little it cost over a standard PX, why not? “it’s your gift to yourself for 28 years in that job”. so i plumped for her. and called her Daphne.

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almost two months i waited for her to arrive. they were still making them as they were to be one of the last ever two stroke Vespas off the italian production line. she was beautiful. the nicest looking scooter i’ve ever owned. i adored her. sadly someone else seemed to be just as fond. she was due her first service, 1000km, booked in, saturday morning, also booked to have a different pipe fitted to give that little bit more oomph. was woken that morning by the neighbour shouting through the bedroom window that “it looks like someone has had a go at your shed”.

had a go alright. and succeeded. screws removed from hinges on one side of the two doors, door neatly propped up against the wall. Daphne gone, along with The Teens MTB. BASTARDS!!!

obviously the plod were informed along with my insurance. then i hit social media. posts on facebook and twitter were shared the length and bredth of the country. i am still overwhelemed with the support i got. within an hour i had people telling me they had seen her. they had also been in touch with the plod. sadly, they weren’t as quick to respond. took almost three weeks before they came out to see me.

needless to say i have never seen Daphne again, nor do i expect to. the insurers paid out in full, i started looking and i found Betty. or to give her her full name… Felicity Jane II (her Reg No… no YOU shut up)

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nippy as heck, but having a different pipe put on as the one currently fitted ain’t suited to commuting in traffic. watch this space…

still miss Daphne. if i ever get proof it was YOU, i will take action.

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DEVOTION

“tell yer Mam, Yer Mam.

To put the champagne on ice,

we’re going to Wembley twice,

tell yer Mam yer Mam”

oh aye… The John Stones Cup Final (copyright West Stand Bogs) and the League One Play Off Final. two fantastic day’s out. two fantastic wins. two times this soppy tart has been in tears over a game of footy in 2016. and with my family by my side. no man could want more.

well, back to back promotions would be nice…. over to you Hecky.

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UP THE DOSAGE

we had a visit from Four Dinners. been a while, but so good to see him. we went out for a curry on the friday. this was the first time The Teen had set foot in one and his first taste of curry. and if it weren’t for Dinners being there he wouldn’t have done either. (and he hasn’t done since. come back Dinners… we need you!) notice the standard teen pose. head down, phone in hand.

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DInners came bearing gifts. a windowsill plant type thing for The Enemy, a mint, german pressing of Pin Ups for The Teen….. and he forgot mine!

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i was working on the sunday, so it was decided that drinking would commence and finish early on saturday, rounded off with a curry. i thought i would treat his lordship to the delights of the best real ale pub in Tarn, so we went to The Old No7. couldn’t get in the front door, so snuck through the cellar bar and in the back way. then realised why we couldn’t use the front door.  the Barnsley Guggenband (or however it is spelt) were playing. the look on 4D’s face was a picture. 20 odd (in every sense) folks all dressed in a mix of german and tartan clothing, playing big brass instruments, but playing well known pop songs. not my first time, but for an ex northerner now living in london it was a bit of a shock. oh aye, took The Teen with us also.

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cracking weekend. come back soon Dinners, and fetch the management.

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ONE BRIGHT STAR

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The Boy turned 16. so is now officially know as The Teen. he’s a bloody good lad. me and The Enemy are so proud of him. passed all his exams, and is now at college studying A levels. wants to be a primary school teacher.

had his prom (what is it with us being americanised?) so obviously as a loving dad i had to buy him a suit. i’ll admit to getting a bit choked when he stepped out of the fitting room. boy did he look the business.

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his footy team Pinfold Pumas XI also won the treble. THE TREBLE! this for a team that a couple of years ago went a full season without a single victory! sadly they decided between them that they didn’t want to play this year, but at least they went out on top. my eternal thanks to Nev & Brandon for what they did with that bunch.

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he didn’t stop playing footy though. he went and played some five-a-side. and look where it got him… bloody hospital with torn tendons! and if you’re wondering why i look so happy, it is because i was overjoyed that it wasn’t ME in hospital for change!2016-07-31 20.06.38.jpg

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