I spent an evening drinking with Keith Harris once. Let me explain.
My regular watering hole was Joplins, a bar situated in Ardsley House Hotel, a short walk from our house, and through the woods. Pre meeting The Enemy, myself and my ragtag bunch of mates were in there every night of the week. Tuesdays were quiz nights, Thursday was “disco” night. The rest of the week were just regular nights.
One of the benefits of drinking in a hotel were the number of events taking place in the function room of a Saturday night, and the fact that the toilets had an entrance via that room AND the reception area, so it was easy to sneak through and enjoy the entertainment in there. Well, that and the after hours drinking if you got talking to a resident and they invited you into the residents bar. which we did frequently. but i digress.
So there’s around a dozen of us, and we’re sat in the bar, minding our own business when someone spies a bloke, curly hair, brown leather jacket, sleeves pushed up (it was the 80s) Mr Keith Harris. Elbows nudge into those sat next to them and plenty of “is that? nah, it can’t be” whispers start to circulate between us. then one voice, quietly stirs…
“I wish i could fly, right up to the sky but i can’t”
And then the rest of us “you can, i can’t”
(kids, ask your parents)
Looking over to KH, his head had dropped, and i think we all thought we’d pissed him off, but then his shoulders started to move up and down, his head came up and he was laughing.
As he was sat on his own, we invited him to come and sit with us, an offer he gladly accepted, and we spent the night chatting and laughing. A naturally funny and warm hearted man, it turned out (i seem to recall) that he was marrying a local girl, hence why he was in the hotel.
It is eight years today since he passed, and whenever i see his face, it always makes me remember that night, and how nice and good natured he was to a bunch of strangers, albeit ones buying him drinks. YES, he did the voices (Cuddles the monkey was always my fave I HATE THAT DUCK) but it was a few hours of general chit chat like we’d usually have.
I encountered a few famous folks in Joplins. Harry Gration doing a Children In Need live broadcast, a plethora of Barnsley FC’s new players, the Nottingham Forest team stayed there when they were playing Liverpool in the FA Cup semi final that fateful Hillsborough day, the absolute C**T that was Paul Shane…
but that’s for another time.
Sime
THE TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX 